Fear and Faith

The last 48 hours have been surreal. Ive gotten to learn just how precious life is. It's a gift, and not one to be taken lightly. I'm currently admitted to Texas Children's Women's Pavilion to have preterm labor stopped. I'm here because they have a NICU that can take care of babies that are born prior to 28 weeks.

I was feeling very stressed out on Tuesday. It had already been a long week and I was just feeling off.  Right after putting Aiden to bed I got sick. I felt miserable and started feeling some low pressure, contractions and spotting blood. I wrestled with having Hugh take me to L&D to be checked. It was 9, I was sleepy and I just wanted everythin to go away. In the end, I called the neighbor to come sit with Aiden until my MIL could get there.

We get there, and I get checked out. The did a test to termite the chances of me going ino labor Inge next two weeks. I failed it. I got an exam, and the dr says that she can see where I've been spotting from and then she checks a realizes that I'm about a half centimeter dilated. I'm 25 weeks and 5 days along. It's not good!

The baby looks good on the monitor, but I am having some small contractions. They give me a shot to try and stop them, it doesn't work. It does make my heart race to 145, which is such a cool feeling. The give me a shot of steroids to help mature the babies lungs faster, just in case I have to deliver.

I get transferred to a room for the night an placed on pain medication to help with the painful contractions. We sit and watch the monitors.

My doctor comes in early and checks me. I've dilated to 1 cm overnight and my cervix is soft, which is not good. It means that it has and can change.

Now they bring out the big guns. I'm hooked up to a drug called Magnesium Sulfate. It's the last ditch effort to stop my labor from progressing. It's a drug that affects your central nervous system by relaxing smooth muscles, like you uterus. Of course you also have other smooth muscles, like your heart and lungs and legs, etc. It's seriously awful stuff. It makes you incredibly hot and fidgety, and burns your veins. My doctor told me that it's a bad medicine but that the good outweighs the bad. It also requires you to have a catheter as you are on 100% bed rest. Yuck.

Around noon, my awesome doctor makes the decision to send me down to Texas Children's Pavilion for Women downtown. They NICU can handle babies younger than 28 weeks in the case of delivery. After several hours on the medication I was still contracting painfully. I was put on an ambulance and taken downtown.

My doctor hear is great. My contractions seem to be tapering off and in a few hours they are going to take me off his medication from hell. A decision will be made on how to handle the rest of my pregnancy. This baby is breech so I've signed consents for an emergency c-section if I dilate too much. I've also signed consents for them to do everything possible for our little baby.

Hugh and I have had the gamut of emotions today. We've cried at the thought of losing our baby. We've cried at the thought of having a micro-premie that lives. This has been the scariest 48 hours of my life. I miss my little girl and yet I pray that this baby decides to cook a little longer. Life is very precious. I can't hank my family enough for their support. Hugh and I have a great support system and for that we are thankful.